Thursday, September 8, 2011

It really is working!

I am now 11.2lbs down from September 1st... 11.2 POUNDS........ I want to shout it to the rooftop. I can't believe how excited I am. How giddy and crazy happy. I really feel like this is going to work. Thank GOD it is going to work. That number represents more than 10% of the weight I intend to lose. My goal is to lose 106 pounds total. I would like to be 180 lbs.

It wasn't so long ago that I was scared and full of despair. I honestly believe that this is going to be my last true chance to lose weight and really lose it. I'm still relatively healthy. If I were to remain at my current weight, I don't think that would be true or possible! Already I'm having joint pain, especially in my knees. How much longer until Diabetes begins to rear it's ugly head? I have a much higher chance of having the disease, my father has it, his grandmother DIED from it. I don't want that to be me. I won't let it be me. At the same time I look at my mom and grandma, and I see the ravaging effects of arthritis. If I don't lose this weight now, before I'm 30, before my joints start to deteriorate, I could be like them. I don't want that, not for me and not for my baby! Eventually I'd like to have another baby someday, but I want to be healthy before I get pregnant, maybe that way it won't be as hard on my body. (I doubt it) Perhaps though, I'll do better afterward as well!

But enough doom and gloom! The numbers don't lie. I now weight 11.2 lbs less than I did 1 week ago. I couldn't be happier right now. I am well on my way to my goal. And I can see it just getting better and better from here on out!

At the same time, I have to keep this in the back of my mind, this diet is hard. The want to have something I shouldn't have right now is almost overwhelming at times, but I keep this mantra in running though my head.

 "It'll taste better a year from now at one of my Celebration Meals after I lose the weight!"

I just need to "give up" this one year of my life to be able to be in a place where I can enjoy times out with friends, and feel good about my self, and get myself to the point where my body doesn't hurt on a regular basis, where my weight and my breast size doesn't control me!

A few years back a group of my friends went with me to Dorney Park. We girls all had a total blast! But it was awkward on a few rides because of the chest bars getting in the way, a few times I had to sit in the Extra Wide seats. Next year, I think I'm going to get the girls together again, and we'll go again! And this time I won't have to mash my boobs through the bars to ride the rides I really LOVE! It would be a victory in my mind! And it will be all the sweeter because I will have acheived it in my own time and in conquoring the doubts in my mind. I CAN do this. I know I can.

And the results on my scale are telling me that I'm well on my way!

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