Monday, August 8, 2011

Frustration and regrets.... almost

   The past week has been the most frustrating I've had in a long long....LONG time. The healing process has come to almost a standstill and it's NOT good.

    I currently am fighting an infection in the incision on my right breast. It is NASTY. Weepy, pussing, bleeding and crusty are all appropriate adjectives. And I could cry.

    What did I get myself into? The thoughts keep running in my mind, how bad is this going to scar now? My left side is doing pretty darn well, I no longer need any sort of bandages and only need to apply some cocoa butter and lotion daily to minimize scaring.

     What I see on my right scares me, the area affected is as big as my hand. It runs the length of the incision and at it's widest part is probably about 5 inches of affected area. What basically happened was that there was the incision was already compromised, but to prevent the body from closing up around the non-absorba stitches he had to remove them, since then the incision has pulled apart.

     So now I'm back on restrictions. I'm not supposed to be reaching above my head (I wish) or lifting my daughter or anything other than sitting, and resting and sleeping and healing. But this is the real world.

    The whole thing scares me, I mean there has been no visible difference in the past 2 weeks. And I keep wondering, how long is this going to take? How long till I can get back to normal? It is so frustrating! Did I go through all of this to spend the next how many weeks attempting to stave off infection? only to be left with some huge disfiguring scar? God I hope not.

    And I am so worried that I will.

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