Well, I have one week to go till day one of my new diet and hopefully a brand new life! I'm starting to stock up on those food that I'll be eating once my diet starts, and I'm starting to makes shopping lists of the foods I'll need regularly (I'm very good at that sort of thing).
I'm really excited. For once going into something like this I feel like I have support! Real Support... and that maybe this time, I'll actually succeed!
Hugs everyone, and I can't wait to report back next week with my starting weight. And I think for the first week a daily update of how much weight I've lost!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Healing... finally and a little bit of fear.
All good things take time apparently.
Healing is one of those things. As of now, the wound is finally starting to close, it's still going to take a few more weeks, but as of now you can actually see where it's starting to grow back skin. and the wound is visually smaller as well.
I am so thankful.
I haven't started to my diet yet (I wanted to get the healing happening first). And I'm still looking to make that happen for September 1st.
In the meantime though, my dear sweet hubby lugged my old stationary bike up to our bedroom (we have room up there, and I can watch TV and pedal at the same time.)
Somethings are as easy as riding a bike... some are not. Since my surgery I hadn't actually gone for a long walk. To be honest about it I was afraid to. The first few weeks I was in so much pain that walking for 2 or 3 miles just couldn't happen. But then there was this little voice in the back of my head telling me that it's been so long since I had really walked, I wouldn't be able to. That fear has kept me from really walking and going out. Why I have this fear I don't know. Maybe a bigger part was that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to finish, and if that happened I'd be stuck.
Well, the day before yesterday that fear has been conquered! Thanks to my dear sweet friend, Tigerlady! She came to visit and walked with me (it felt good knowing that if I got stuck she could rescue me!) So we did it! 2.15 miles (round-trip) to the park and back with the baby. Done in 40 minutes! (with a break in between since the baby wanted to play on the playground). The only problem I had was with the last half a block.... the hill we live on is so steep, but I still did it! I did notice that I had slightly more trouble breathing than I normally do. But it wasn't to totally bad, I made it, and I'm not afraid of the walk anymore!
Healing is one of those things. As of now, the wound is finally starting to close, it's still going to take a few more weeks, but as of now you can actually see where it's starting to grow back skin. and the wound is visually smaller as well.
I am so thankful.
I haven't started to my diet yet (I wanted to get the healing happening first). And I'm still looking to make that happen for September 1st.
In the meantime though, my dear sweet hubby lugged my old stationary bike up to our bedroom (we have room up there, and I can watch TV and pedal at the same time.)
Somethings are as easy as riding a bike... some are not. Since my surgery I hadn't actually gone for a long walk. To be honest about it I was afraid to. The first few weeks I was in so much pain that walking for 2 or 3 miles just couldn't happen. But then there was this little voice in the back of my head telling me that it's been so long since I had really walked, I wouldn't be able to. That fear has kept me from really walking and going out. Why I have this fear I don't know. Maybe a bigger part was that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to finish, and if that happened I'd be stuck.
Well, the day before yesterday that fear has been conquered! Thanks to my dear sweet friend, Tigerlady! She came to visit and walked with me (it felt good knowing that if I got stuck she could rescue me!) So we did it! 2.15 miles (round-trip) to the park and back with the baby. Done in 40 minutes! (with a break in between since the baby wanted to play on the playground). The only problem I had was with the last half a block.... the hill we live on is so steep, but I still did it! I did notice that I had slightly more trouble breathing than I normally do. But it wasn't to totally bad, I made it, and I'm not afraid of the walk anymore!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Frustration and regrets.... almost
The past week has been the most frustrating I've had in a long long....LONG time. The healing process has come to almost a standstill and it's NOT good.
I currently am fighting an infection in the incision on my right breast. It is NASTY. Weepy, pussing, bleeding and crusty are all appropriate adjectives. And I could cry.
What did I get myself into? The thoughts keep running in my mind, how bad is this going to scar now? My left side is doing pretty darn well, I no longer need any sort of bandages and only need to apply some cocoa butter and lotion daily to minimize scaring.
What I see on my right scares me, the area affected is as big as my hand. It runs the length of the incision and at it's widest part is probably about 5 inches of affected area. What basically happened was that there was the incision was already compromised, but to prevent the body from closing up around the non-absorba stitches he had to remove them, since then the incision has pulled apart.
So now I'm back on restrictions. I'm not supposed to be reaching above my head (I wish) or lifting my daughter or anything other than sitting, and resting and sleeping and healing. But this is the real world.
The whole thing scares me, I mean there has been no visible difference in the past 2 weeks. And I keep wondering, how long is this going to take? How long till I can get back to normal? It is so frustrating! Did I go through all of this to spend the next how many weeks attempting to stave off infection? only to be left with some huge disfiguring scar? God I hope not.
And I am so worried that I will.
I currently am fighting an infection in the incision on my right breast. It is NASTY. Weepy, pussing, bleeding and crusty are all appropriate adjectives. And I could cry.
What did I get myself into? The thoughts keep running in my mind, how bad is this going to scar now? My left side is doing pretty darn well, I no longer need any sort of bandages and only need to apply some cocoa butter and lotion daily to minimize scaring.
What I see on my right scares me, the area affected is as big as my hand. It runs the length of the incision and at it's widest part is probably about 5 inches of affected area. What basically happened was that there was the incision was already compromised, but to prevent the body from closing up around the non-absorba stitches he had to remove them, since then the incision has pulled apart.
So now I'm back on restrictions. I'm not supposed to be reaching above my head (I wish) or lifting my daughter or anything other than sitting, and resting and sleeping and healing. But this is the real world.
The whole thing scares me, I mean there has been no visible difference in the past 2 weeks. And I keep wondering, how long is this going to take? How long till I can get back to normal? It is so frustrating! Did I go through all of this to spend the next how many weeks attempting to stave off infection? only to be left with some huge disfiguring scar? God I hope not.
And I am so worried that I will.
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